In 2013 I’d had it in my head that I would have been treated by the end of March. I suppose it’s a human trait to want to get these things over and done with.
I was now on Hormone Therapy, a horrible experience. But t did make me realise what females must go through with the menopause. Get the HRT ladies, the symptoms I had were terrible.
But the bungled CT scan appointment had derailed that. It was a two month wait for the next one. And I don’t even now know why I had to have it. As I understood, I needed to have a detailed scan to give the therapists targets to aim at with the Brachytherapy. But of course that wasn’t going to happen. It was the knife.
And it looked like that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. Scan in March. Go see surgeon in late April. That seemed likely.
I was getting a bit fed up. I have a daughter in New Zealand whom I had been wanting to visit ever since I was diagnosed. I didn’t want her to worry. But with all the appointments and changes I wasn’t able to book any dates. So I decided that whatever happened I would go see her over the summer. So I was ruling myself out of surgery until September.
I have no regrets about that at all. I had the best time with my two daughters (I took my younger one with me for 5 weeks, stopping off in Singapore) and my elder was happy to see me looking well. The surgeon was happy too. He told me that I could delay surgery for a couple of years if necessary!
I went into hospital on September 29th at 08:00. The hospital being in Edinburgh, and me being in Dalbeattie, and the NHS being happy to take me home but not take me to the hospital, I travelled the day before and stayed at a B&B that night. A pretty sleepless time it was too.
No mucking about. I was prepared and went straight into theatre.
I was first that day. So at least I was pretty sure the knives would be sharp.
Tuesday, 25 November 2014
Friday, 21 November 2014
Prostate Cancer next instalment…
The memory of that first cystoscopy still remains with me.. Not just for the discomfort.
It came back to haunt me after I’d had the second biopsy that found the cancer.
Once they’d told me I had cancer I went through what I suppose most people do. What does it mean? What’s the prognosis? I got referred to Edinburgh for a consultation with the Consultant…If you get my drift
He seemed a bit keen on me seeing the surgeon, but I thought Brachytherapy was a better choice and we agreed on that. My only concern was having radio isotopes inside me for some time, and how this might impact on my daughter. I was assured it would be fine. But…. I needed a hernia repair, and the consultant told me that I had to have that done before the brachytherapy as they don’t allow the surgeons to be exposed to the isotopes… Yet it was no danger to me……
So I had a hernia repair. The surgeon was a young lass. When she interviewed me before the surgery she said “ Hello dear” [Dear. Dear me]. “Do you know what you’re in for today?” Me: “yeeeeessssss….. I’m having a hernia repair…..” She” That’s right dear. That’s where your giblets have popped out and we’re going to pop them back in……” ME: “Really….. Giblets…..” She, for the first time looking at my face”":” Oh, a bit too patronising? Sorry, It’s been a long day…” ME: “Well can you get me a surgeon who’s a bit fresher then please??????”
I didn’t get a fresher surgeon. But hernia done, I went back to the consultant to say, ‘hernia repaired, when can we go for the therapy???”
And that’s when the cystoscopy came back to haunt me. It turns out that procedure had revealed the presence of another “growth” and suddenly radio therapy was not looking a good option. Surgery was recommended…. How had no-one sussed this before? I was told they had a case review, and the surgeon had expressed concern. I translated that as drumming up more business. Anyway, I was persuaded to have a radical prostatectomy and that would be scheduled after another CT scan, Scan duly arranged for 20th December 2013.
At Dumfries hospital. Scene of painful cystoscopy and patronising surgeon. So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when I rocked up on the due date, to be met by the consultant who had a big apology for me.
Someone hadn’t booked the Scanner for me.
My hopes of getting all this sorted in 2013 were then dashed. It took two months to get the next scan date.
I’ll do 2014 next.
It came back to haunt me after I’d had the second biopsy that found the cancer.
Once they’d told me I had cancer I went through what I suppose most people do. What does it mean? What’s the prognosis? I got referred to Edinburgh for a consultation with the Consultant…If you get my drift
He seemed a bit keen on me seeing the surgeon, but I thought Brachytherapy was a better choice and we agreed on that. My only concern was having radio isotopes inside me for some time, and how this might impact on my daughter. I was assured it would be fine. But…. I needed a hernia repair, and the consultant told me that I had to have that done before the brachytherapy as they don’t allow the surgeons to be exposed to the isotopes… Yet it was no danger to me……
So I had a hernia repair. The surgeon was a young lass. When she interviewed me before the surgery she said “ Hello dear” [Dear. Dear me]. “Do you know what you’re in for today?” Me: “yeeeeessssss….. I’m having a hernia repair…..” She” That’s right dear. That’s where your giblets have popped out and we’re going to pop them back in……” ME: “Really….. Giblets…..” She, for the first time looking at my face”":” Oh, a bit too patronising? Sorry, It’s been a long day…” ME: “Well can you get me a surgeon who’s a bit fresher then please??????”
I didn’t get a fresher surgeon. But hernia done, I went back to the consultant to say, ‘hernia repaired, when can we go for the therapy???”
And that’s when the cystoscopy came back to haunt me. It turns out that procedure had revealed the presence of another “growth” and suddenly radio therapy was not looking a good option. Surgery was recommended…. How had no-one sussed this before? I was told they had a case review, and the surgeon had expressed concern. I translated that as drumming up more business. Anyway, I was persuaded to have a radical prostatectomy and that would be scheduled after another CT scan, Scan duly arranged for 20th December 2013.
At Dumfries hospital. Scene of painful cystoscopy and patronising surgeon. So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when I rocked up on the due date, to be met by the consultant who had a big apology for me.
Someone hadn’t booked the Scanner for me.
My hopes of getting all this sorted in 2013 were then dashed. It took two months to get the next scan date.
I’ll do 2014 next.
Thursday, 20 November 2014
Prostate Cancer–my “journey” (I hate that expression)
The discovery that the original PSA test result hadn’t been followed up caused a flurry of activity.
But first a couple of other ironies. I’d just met a new friend who had to tell me they were suspected of cancer. As it turned out she was clear, and then I had to tell her I had cancer…
Because I was bored, I’d promised to do service on a lands End to John O’Groats charity bike ride. It was about a week before we set off that the lead cyclist said to me “It’s very strange how everyone seems to be succumbing to cancer or some other life-threatening thing. She was a bit taken aback when I said “Well I’ve just been told I’ve joined the club..” But that was the best two weeks I had in 2013. I felt really connected with the fund-raising.
Anyway. I was scheduled for a biopsy, a cystoscopy, a bone scan and a CT scan. All new territory to me. The following is a tad out of order..
The bone scan was hilarious. It was like a ‘50’s cartoon where the hero would walk behind a screen and the bones would appear. Yes it took a bit longer in real life but I was in stitches. The nurses gave ne a huge row whilst holding back their own laughs! I asked if the radiation was potentially harmful to my young daughter and they said “no, but don’t spend too much time too close”….?????? I said “good as we’re off to Alton Towers soon”. That caused some apoplexy, and I ended up leaving with a letter which basically said “If your alarms go off or your machinery is affected as this idiot passes by, he’s not a terrorist, he’s full of radio-isotopes. Very comforting. As it happened we got stuck on top of the brand-new ride at Alton Towers for over an hour. I never showed them the letter….
The first CT scan was of course a breeze.
The biopsy was unpleasant. The nurse who did it (who I know, and believe me it creates some social awkwardness when you meet someone who’s been poking about in your bum at the local cafe and pubs after) told me I “would not have cancer, no worries” And the first biopsy was clear.
The cystoscopy was appalling. The “doctor” was unpleasant and dis-respectful. It was the most painful experience I had ever had. (When I complained later I was told “it just depends who does it”. I was not impressed. However it was the cystoscopy that threw up the complications.
But more of that next time….
But first a couple of other ironies. I’d just met a new friend who had to tell me they were suspected of cancer. As it turned out she was clear, and then I had to tell her I had cancer…
Because I was bored, I’d promised to do service on a lands End to John O’Groats charity bike ride. It was about a week before we set off that the lead cyclist said to me “It’s very strange how everyone seems to be succumbing to cancer or some other life-threatening thing. She was a bit taken aback when I said “Well I’ve just been told I’ve joined the club..” But that was the best two weeks I had in 2013. I felt really connected with the fund-raising.
Anyway. I was scheduled for a biopsy, a cystoscopy, a bone scan and a CT scan. All new territory to me. The following is a tad out of order..
The bone scan was hilarious. It was like a ‘50’s cartoon where the hero would walk behind a screen and the bones would appear. Yes it took a bit longer in real life but I was in stitches. The nurses gave ne a huge row whilst holding back their own laughs! I asked if the radiation was potentially harmful to my young daughter and they said “no, but don’t spend too much time too close”….?????? I said “good as we’re off to Alton Towers soon”. That caused some apoplexy, and I ended up leaving with a letter which basically said “If your alarms go off or your machinery is affected as this idiot passes by, he’s not a terrorist, he’s full of radio-isotopes. Very comforting. As it happened we got stuck on top of the brand-new ride at Alton Towers for over an hour. I never showed them the letter….
The first CT scan was of course a breeze.
The biopsy was unpleasant. The nurse who did it (who I know, and believe me it creates some social awkwardness when you meet someone who’s been poking about in your bum at the local cafe and pubs after) told me I “would not have cancer, no worries” And the first biopsy was clear.
The cystoscopy was appalling. The “doctor” was unpleasant and dis-respectful. It was the most painful experience I had ever had. (When I complained later I was told “it just depends who does it”. I was not impressed. However it was the cystoscopy that threw up the complications.
But more of that next time….
Tuesday, 18 November 2014
Prostate cancer
I really should have started this topic a while ago. Probably in May 2011 when I got the results of my first PSA test. 7.2 (normal is 0-4).
That should have been a wake up call to the doctor, after all he rang me with the results. I had no idea that meant I likely had cancer – the only other person I knew who was having PSA tests was getting results in the 1,000’s. I know a lot better now.
So nothing happened. Until 2013 when I was at the docs and said I was feeling that I might have some waterworks issues. The initial response was “well you’re depressed and so you worry about lots of things” “But”, said I, fortunately as it happened “I had a PSA test a while ago and it was elevated”
A somewhat pregnant pause. “What PSA test?” asked doc. “Couple of years ago”"….” Frantic look at computer. “What??? This should have been followed up immediately!” The nurses got blamed. I was just a tad shocked. But that kicked things off.
Another PSA test led to a biopsy, then another, then diagnosis of cancer, and this September 29th a radical prostatectomy.
Now the point of this initial insight is a warning. They say that if any many lives long enough, he’ll get prostate cancer. I don’t know if that’s an empirical fact or not.
What I do know is that I was ignorant. I had no symptoms, and if I had never mentioned the first PSA test, I would probably still have no idea that cancer was there.
In fairness a PSA test is probably one of the least reliable tests that exist. And the following procedures are so invasive as to be positively medieval. So checking is not a barrel load of laughs.
BUT…. Men, if you have any concerns, go get a PSA test, and know that anything over .4 (point 4) should be monitored.
I was advised to have surgery because of a complication I had. There are new and effective other treatments available.
I’ll post more on my “journey” later.
That should have been a wake up call to the doctor, after all he rang me with the results. I had no idea that meant I likely had cancer – the only other person I knew who was having PSA tests was getting results in the 1,000’s. I know a lot better now.
So nothing happened. Until 2013 when I was at the docs and said I was feeling that I might have some waterworks issues. The initial response was “well you’re depressed and so you worry about lots of things” “But”, said I, fortunately as it happened “I had a PSA test a while ago and it was elevated”
A somewhat pregnant pause. “What PSA test?” asked doc. “Couple of years ago”"….” Frantic look at computer. “What??? This should have been followed up immediately!” The nurses got blamed. I was just a tad shocked. But that kicked things off.
Another PSA test led to a biopsy, then another, then diagnosis of cancer, and this September 29th a radical prostatectomy.
Now the point of this initial insight is a warning. They say that if any many lives long enough, he’ll get prostate cancer. I don’t know if that’s an empirical fact or not.
What I do know is that I was ignorant. I had no symptoms, and if I had never mentioned the first PSA test, I would probably still have no idea that cancer was there.
In fairness a PSA test is probably one of the least reliable tests that exist. And the following procedures are so invasive as to be positively medieval. So checking is not a barrel load of laughs.
BUT…. Men, if you have any concerns, go get a PSA test, and know that anything over .4 (point 4) should be monitored.
I was advised to have surgery because of a complication I had. There are new and effective other treatments available.
I’ll post more on my “journey” later.
Sunday, 16 November 2014
Rewind
The previous post is one I deleted some time ago.
I don’t know now why I did.
Trolls are trolls. They have no guts to confront in person.
Normal service soon.
Police state --- ment
I’m not sure if this is something I should put on my CV… Maybe it’s a more common occurrence than I think. Have any of you ever had a visit from the Police to tell you you’d done nothing wrong?
I have.
Yesterday two Police people turned up at the house. Here’s a bit of background. Friday past I went to collect my daughter from her Granny. Granny totally ignored me and so to avoid making a scene in front of my daughter I texted Granny later to ask why she had ignored me. A couple of texts passed back and forth.
So the Police rock up to tell me that I had nothing to worry about, I’d NOT been abusive, I’d NOT been harassing, I was asking a simple question which was totally reasonable. That was the Police statement.
Followed by “..but your ex Mother-in-Law doesn’t want any contact with you” I assured them
that was not difficult to arrange.
Now, I’m not an expert in the deployment of Police resources but the incident did raise a number of questions.
Not the least being what this kind of thing does to how my daughter perceives me. Maybe not such a coincidence that she is not talking to me.
Posted by David Link at 02:04
4 comments:
Darryl 17 April 2014 07:15
Hi David. Darcy knows nothing about the police. No matter what you think. My mother and my grandmother do not expose her to your endless awkwardness and bitterness. Darcy, although is not a stupid little girl, as, of course, you know. We are all trying to get on with our lives and it seems to me as you have nothing better to do than make everyone elses life more difficult, because of your own loss.
Now, this is no coincidence that your daughter does not want to see you, it is your own fault, for openly talking about your bitter feelings towards my mum, in ears reach. Ask most people this side of the border and they will say you are a difficult man to communicate with. Fact. Nobody wants to be spoken to the way you speak to people. I know you will assume that that is everyone elses fault, of course.... Well if so, 'sink' to everyone elses level for a change, make things easier for yourself.
I have had enough of the hurt you have caused. And still I look back on times that we have had that have been nice, and positive, but, overriding this I think of times where you have hurt me, very deeply. That still to this day effects me. I know the wonderful things you have done for me. The moment you put down my dad is the moment I looked down on you as a condecending, ignorant, pig. No matter how hard I try I cannot see past this monster you have become. I will always appreciate the lovely things you have done for me, as I say, it doesnt quite match up to the awful things you have done to this family.
Darcy is sitting infront of me, a happy girl that is unaware of the mental battering you put my mum through. I was the one who hugged her when she cried throughout your endless arguments at 'home', she heard your booming voice degrading her mother to the point of tears. She wont forget that David. My mother is a beautiful human being, Darcy knows that, we dont care if shes disrespected you, its nothing on what you have done to her. Permenant damage.
I hope you read this and it changes something. Just please try and make things easier
for everyone. Again, i will state, this is from my own mind. Nobody elses.
Getting out of touch with my female side
David Link 17 April 2014 07:39
Hi Darryl.
I hope you, Marc and Willow are well.
I'm not entering into a Public debate about this with you.
But I think you have the right to know. Your Mum will probably deny this, but you should maybe ask her the reason why we went to Turkey, why she pleaded with me to not mention what I had found out - a promise I kept.
As for my mental state after losing Cameron, that was explained to you all, and the advice you were all given was pretty clear.
I am sorry you feel the bad times outweighed the good times. I don't recollect putting down you dad, but obviously you feel strongly about that.
If your remember it was you who asked for us not to have any communication, and I
reluctantly promised to abide by your wishes. I don't know how you found this blog.
Darryl I continue to send you my very best wishes and my love, and will continue to be here should you ever need me for anything.
If you want me to I can delete this whole thread. You are an adult Darryl, and as adults we are both responsible for 50% of any communication we have. That was the same with your mum and I, and applies to all human relationships.
In any event, as I say, I wish you every happiness and best wishes.
Dawn Roberts 17 April 2014 07:59
And again you try to bring me down. My family know everything.
Probably best you remove this.
Reply Delete
Replies
David Link 17 April 2014 08:15
Darryl is an adult. If she wants me to remove the thread I will do.
I'm not trying to bring you down. Darryl has been very forthright about what she thinks of me; if she wants to start a debate about this I would welcome her here any time to discuss it. It's part of her history and as it is often said, history is written by the victors.
If your family know everything then they have only heard one version. I've certainly never mentioned it to any of your family. They've never mentioned it to me.
Believe me I have enough to worry about in the future and I would dearly love to bury the hatchet. However Darryl has made a number of allegations about my relationship with Darcy, and if Darcy is in an environment where Darcy's family is comfortable with blaming me for all ills, and where her Granny is comfortable with sending the Police to my door, then surely you must see why I am worried this will influence what Darcy does.
I thought things were going quite well in our attempt to support Darcy in dealing with whatever it is that is causing her current behaviour.
I'll repeat. I would have done anything to get reconciled with Darcy. I've only ever loved her. I'll also repeat if Darryl wants me to take down this thread then I will so do.
I have.
Yesterday two Police people turned up at the house. Here’s a bit of background. Friday past I went to collect my daughter from her Granny. Granny totally ignored me and so to avoid making a scene in front of my daughter I texted Granny later to ask why she had ignored me. A couple of texts passed back and forth.
So the Police rock up to tell me that I had nothing to worry about, I’d NOT been abusive, I’d NOT been harassing, I was asking a simple question which was totally reasonable. That was the Police statement.
Followed by “..but your ex Mother-in-Law doesn’t want any contact with you” I assured them
that was not difficult to arrange.
Now, I’m not an expert in the deployment of Police resources but the incident did raise a number of questions.
Not the least being what this kind of thing does to how my daughter perceives me. Maybe not such a coincidence that she is not talking to me.
Posted by David Link at 02:04
4 comments:
Darryl 17 April 2014 07:15
Hi David. Darcy knows nothing about the police. No matter what you think. My mother and my grandmother do not expose her to your endless awkwardness and bitterness. Darcy, although is not a stupid little girl, as, of course, you know. We are all trying to get on with our lives and it seems to me as you have nothing better to do than make everyone elses life more difficult, because of your own loss.
Now, this is no coincidence that your daughter does not want to see you, it is your own fault, for openly talking about your bitter feelings towards my mum, in ears reach. Ask most people this side of the border and they will say you are a difficult man to communicate with. Fact. Nobody wants to be spoken to the way you speak to people. I know you will assume that that is everyone elses fault, of course.... Well if so, 'sink' to everyone elses level for a change, make things easier for yourself.
I have had enough of the hurt you have caused. And still I look back on times that we have had that have been nice, and positive, but, overriding this I think of times where you have hurt me, very deeply. That still to this day effects me. I know the wonderful things you have done for me. The moment you put down my dad is the moment I looked down on you as a condecending, ignorant, pig. No matter how hard I try I cannot see past this monster you have become. I will always appreciate the lovely things you have done for me, as I say, it doesnt quite match up to the awful things you have done to this family.
Darcy is sitting infront of me, a happy girl that is unaware of the mental battering you put my mum through. I was the one who hugged her when she cried throughout your endless arguments at 'home', she heard your booming voice degrading her mother to the point of tears. She wont forget that David. My mother is a beautiful human being, Darcy knows that, we dont care if shes disrespected you, its nothing on what you have done to her. Permenant damage.
I hope you read this and it changes something. Just please try and make things easier
for everyone. Again, i will state, this is from my own mind. Nobody elses.
Getting out of touch with my female side
David Link 17 April 2014 07:39
Hi Darryl.
I hope you, Marc and Willow are well.
I'm not entering into a Public debate about this with you.
But I think you have the right to know. Your Mum will probably deny this, but you should maybe ask her the reason why we went to Turkey, why she pleaded with me to not mention what I had found out - a promise I kept.
As for my mental state after losing Cameron, that was explained to you all, and the advice you were all given was pretty clear.
I am sorry you feel the bad times outweighed the good times. I don't recollect putting down you dad, but obviously you feel strongly about that.
If your remember it was you who asked for us not to have any communication, and I
reluctantly promised to abide by your wishes. I don't know how you found this blog.
Darryl I continue to send you my very best wishes and my love, and will continue to be here should you ever need me for anything.
If you want me to I can delete this whole thread. You are an adult Darryl, and as adults we are both responsible for 50% of any communication we have. That was the same with your mum and I, and applies to all human relationships.
In any event, as I say, I wish you every happiness and best wishes.
Dawn Roberts 17 April 2014 07:59
And again you try to bring me down. My family know everything.
Probably best you remove this.
Reply Delete
Replies
David Link 17 April 2014 08:15
Darryl is an adult. If she wants me to remove the thread I will do.
I'm not trying to bring you down. Darryl has been very forthright about what she thinks of me; if she wants to start a debate about this I would welcome her here any time to discuss it. It's part of her history and as it is often said, history is written by the victors.
If your family know everything then they have only heard one version. I've certainly never mentioned it to any of your family. They've never mentioned it to me.
Believe me I have enough to worry about in the future and I would dearly love to bury the hatchet. However Darryl has made a number of allegations about my relationship with Darcy, and if Darcy is in an environment where Darcy's family is comfortable with blaming me for all ills, and where her Granny is comfortable with sending the Police to my door, then surely you must see why I am worried this will influence what Darcy does.
I thought things were going quite well in our attempt to support Darcy in dealing with whatever it is that is causing her current behaviour.
I'll repeat. I would have done anything to get reconciled with Darcy. I've only ever loved her. I'll also repeat if Darryl wants me to take down this thread then I will so do.
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