Prostate cancer–surgery and recovery

I really don’t know if the medical staff enjoy banter in the pre-op room. I was needing a lot. I don’t mind admitting I was nervous.

I never saw so many people all standing around waiting for me to go to sleep.  This wasn’t helped as the anaesthetist was reduced to kneeling at my left side trying to get the stent in.  I asked if he was going to propose to me. Silence……   He had four goes on my left hand but eventually gave up and proceeded to devote his attention to my right-hand. Sleep came quickly….

I awoke in recovery, desperate for a wee wee. Slurring the words I got the nurse’s attention and she said “Well have one then”

I’d not realised I had the catheter in. It was like learning how to wee all over again. I wasn’t in any pain, and was transported to the ward.

I don’t remember too much about that day. I became more aware of the catheter and bag, and I was given copious quantities of water to drink, paracetamol and antibiotics. My water intake was miniscule in comparison to the other wardees. They were mostly old and were having their bladders flushed out because of bleeding or other reasons. They not only had pipes coming out of their bladders, but ones going in to. Water was fed in and out continuously, day and night, huge quantities and the staff had to change these about every hour, day and night. Sleep wasn’t going to come easy.

But first on their priority list was ordering next days meals. I had to take pot luck on day one. Sandwiches. But what would I have for next day??? No. I didn’t know either. I was concentrating on drinking bucket loads of water, and they wanted me up and moving around too. No lying around in bed.

I can’t say it was a great night, The paracetamol wasn’t really doing it; the douche-bags were getting changed by staff using torches and trying but failing to be “quiet”. I didn’t know how the other 5 folk were sleeping through all this. I found out in the morning.

They were old hands at this, and they knew they would get the good drugs if they asked for it. The ones that have to be signed out by two doctors. I found this out by chance, and once I knew, I put in my request.

I was out of bed at five and walking the corridors.  The staff were impressed but cautioned me about being too active. My special pill came after breakfast. I had obviously order toast, and that’s what I got. Toast. On its own. Thanks goodness I was still required to drink gallons water.

I don’t know what the drug was, but it was fantastic. I was in a very happy place.  I didn’t care about their next objective, getting me to defecate. That became a very important thing. I don’t know if my two visitors were impressed at my state, and I did make up a lot of weird life-hacks and somehow got them scheduled for a Christmas debut. (If you saw my Facebook page you’d know. That caused no end of fuss).  I also manage to take a selfie and upload it. The evidence is there, but not in my memory. I had ordered a baked potato for tea. And that’s what I got.  Baked potato. On its own. No butter, filling or seasoning. It wasn’t till the next day I figured where the salt was stashed…….